


like it's only us two (just me and you)

by ranboot



Series: the end of the day without you (it becomes longing clearly) [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Rewrite, Scandal, Secret Relationship, bro idk how tags work, it sounds sad but i swear it's not, put two and two together, total rewrite and story reform huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranboot/pseuds/ranboot
Summary: Felix, on break and having exhausted everything to do, misses his boyfriend.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Series: the end of the day without you (it becomes longing clearly) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683613
Comments: 10
Kudos: 139





	1. a bundle of roses for the pixie

**Author's Note:**

> now for those who read this before and are wondering, what the hell happened, please read! 
> 
> buttttt if you’re new to this fic, feel free to skip these notes 
> 
> ~~~
> 
> for those who’ve read this before, i had to make some major changes. the entire old storyline revolved around a theory that many people believed, or wanted, to be true. that the once 9th member of skz left and the boys kept in touch and such. of course i did my own thing but basically it was about how a member in skz was in love with an old member, and the two were still together. 
> 
> for personal reasons i couldn’t keep that, so i had to redo a couple things. i tried to keep the conflict that minho + ninth member had in the sense that they both misunderstood and were avoiding each other, causing stress, etc. 
> 
> i basically kept the entire scene with jeongin and hyunjin the same, since that was very adaptable, and mostly kept the beach scene with chan and ninth member the same. 
> 
> i hope this new storyline is still enjoyable. it was basically impossible to keep the story canon compliant and deal with a member leaving, because i didn’t wanna write a current member of skz leaving. so i changed things up a bit! 
> 
> ~~~
> 
> i’m splitting this into two (or more) parts because it’s just too much to fit into one chapter, so look out for that chapter soon.
> 
> enjoy -_-

"How's Felix doing?" Chan read outloud. He had just started Chan's room a couple minutes ago and noticed among the many declarations of love, questions, and cheesy pick-up lines, many people were asking a very specific question.

_Bethany❤️ SKZ: wheres felix?_

_JEONGINZEN: How's Felix?_

_✨✨armystay✨✨: Say "Te amo!"_

_strayluvv: bethany shut up this is chan's room_

_No Name: how is felix_

"A lot of you guys have been asking how our member, Felix, is doing," Chan started, looking down at the floor, "Sincehe's been gone for awhile now and you know, I'm sure you're worried and everything, but....he's doing well. He's resting at the dorms, and will be for a couple more days , so I'm sure he's recharging, feeling the energy and love our stays been sending him." He paused, organizing his thoughts, "I know...there's a lot of our own stays that understand how...you know...it feels when someone....told something you've been trying to hide for a long time. And of course, we all knew what he was keeping to himself, but the rest of you guys...didn't. So, he just needs a little time alone." 

Chan looked back up at the chat. The messages had changed, a ton of "awws" and "tell felix we love him!" those kind of messages. He smiled, 

"Let's play some music now! Do you guys have any suggestions?" 

-

Chan got home at a concerning time of night, but it's not like it was anything new to the members. Most of the members didn't hear him come home that night. The only sounds were coming from his room with Felix and the living room, where Jisung was on the couch. 

Jisung was curled up under a blanket, watching somthing on his phone. He had pulled his knees to his chest with the blanket covering his legs. He was wearing a baggy sweatshirt, and his eyes drooped sleepily as he tilted his head to the right. He looked over at Chan, noticing his arrival. 

"Hey there," Chan said, kicking off his shoes, "Whatcha watching?" 

"Planet Earth. Again." Jisung said. 

"It's the one with the fox right?"

"Hyung look, it's an Arctic fox!" Jisung held his phone in front of Chan's face, "Wah, it's Jeongin!" 

Chan scrunched his nose. Jisung had picked a rather jarring scene in the documentary, where an Arctic fox kills a Winter Goose's chick and when her pups see the chick, they surround it and devour the creature. Though he had to admit, the glimpses of the pups playfully nipping each other and playing around was adorable to watch. And the pups did look a bit like Jeongin, making them even more adorable.

"It's baby Jeongin," Chan said, "When he was still a baby, and not a full-grown man." He sighed, "I miss our little maknae, before he got giant and got arms." 

"What do you mean, he's had arms..." Jisung added,

"No but he has _arms, "_ Chan said, putting excessive emphasis on the last word. 

Jisung laughed, "A buff baby." 

The two finished the documentary on the couch, letting the time pass by quickly as the night progressed further into the morning. Jisung's eyes started to get more and more hooded as he tried his best to keep himself awake and Chan migrated his body closer to Jisung, resting a head on his shoulder. When the documentary ended, Chan nudged Jisung to see if he was awake. He cooed, seeing that the younger had fallen asleep holding his phone. 

Jisung was sleeping quite pleasantly and contently, so he didn't want to wake him up. He carefully moved away from Jisung, who turned on his side, still curled in a ball on the couch. Chan readjusted the blanket so it covered him fully and slipped a throw pillow under his head. He took the phone and plugged it into the outlet near the couch. 

He heard footsteps and looked down the hallway to see who it was. A figure stumbled out of the darkness, 

"Oh Chan. You're here.” Minho said, who must have been woken up by the noise. 

"Did I wake you? Sorry..." Chan muttered. 

"No it's okay," Minho said. He made his way over to Jisung, "Oh, he's here." 

"Yeah, we were watching a documentary together and he fell asleep before it ended. I didn't want to wake him up, he'd be grumpy."

"He hasn't slept much," Minho said, "He's never in bed with me anymore..." 

Chan didn't know what to say. He's witnessed a lot of fights between the members, and been in some as well. But it had been awhile. He noticed Minho walking to the kitchen and grumbling something to himself. He poured himself a cup of water,

"He's busy and stressed, Minho." Chan said, trying to reckon the situation. 

Minho's eyes changed to express more concern than annoyance, "He's been stressed and busy for weeks now." He took a seat next to Chan at the table, "I just fucking miss him. I'm used to hearing him sneaking into my bed and not caring if he woke me up because it was time alone with him. I'm not used to him coming home, crashing in his bed, and sleeping until the very last second, not even acknowledging me." 

Chan tapped his fingers on the dining table softly, "I could try and get him to take a break. Most of the time he spends out late is writing music. It's unusual, it's been taking him longer and longer to come up with lyrics or music." 

"Would he even listen to you?" Minho said, frowning, "He won't even listen to his boyfriend." 

Minho got up, right then and there, and walked briskly to his room. Chan heard a door slam right after. Chan decided it was the universe telling him 3:13 am is bedtime. He made his way to his bedroom, noticing a lamp was still on. He peaked in and saw that Changbin was fast asleep was on his bed, with the blanket pulled up to his face and snorlax plush that had somehow migrated to the foot of the bed. Felix, on the other hand, was wide awake and sitting up in bed, 

"Felix?" Chan said, lowering his voice because of Changbin, "You're still awake?" 

He didn't reply but gestured for Chan to come sit with him on his bed, "I've got something to show you." 

As Chan got closer, he noticed Felix was scrolling through photos on his phone, older ones from before either of them came to Seoul. 

"This," Felix said, "Was when I was maybe....15? 14?" He zoomed out, "It was during a field trip, I think we went to a museum or something. Mom found a bunch of old photos and scanned them, then sent them to me." 

"Aw," Chan laughed, "You look so tiny."

Felix groaned, "I look gross...I can't believe I used to dress like that...I used to think I was so cool."

"Nah, I'm sure you don't look have as bad as me," Chan fake shuddered, for dramatic effect, "Sana-noona has some photos I would like to never see the light of day." 

Felix smirked, "You know I still have her-"

"Don't you dare-" Chan said, cutting him off.

"Alright, alright." He sighed, "I'm tired." 

Chan paused, "It is really late." 

The younger groaned, shutting off his phone, "I did nothing today."

"So?" Chan said, "Remember, you're on break. Do nothing. Sleep all day. Just don’t do anything dangerous, that would get you hurt." 

"I just feel....weird." He slumped under his blanket until only his head was visible, "I see everyone going out and doing stuff while I'm just...here. And most of my friends are busy being idols too, so it's not like I could go out with them." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Let me in," Chan whined, tugging on the blanket. Felix huffed, and loosened his grip to let Chan shimmy himself in. He slung an arm around Felix's waist as he curled closer to the younger,

"This is your resting time, lix. Just take time off and if you don't wanna do anything 'productive' then don't. It's not often we get to be alone with our thoughts, and after this break, I'm sure you'll end up feeling more refreshed and ready to go again," He placed a kiss on Felix's shoulder, "We need our little fairy to be healthy, okay?" 

Felix turned to face Chan. He was looking down and he still looked a little annoyed. But Chan noticed a glow to his face, and less prominent dark circles under his eyes.

"Chan," Felix started, "Can I get a kiss..." He muttered the end of his sentence. It was almost unintelligible to Chan, but he understood it. 

"You don't have to ask," Chan said, his lips ghosting over Felix's. 

"Then get on with it."

Chan kissed him softly, lips moving in tandem with Felix's, neither of them taking the lead but preferring to move together. Chan put his hand on Felix's jaw and pulled his face up slightly, getting a better angle for kissing him. 

Felix found himself lying down, letting Chan hold one of his hands as they kissed. He groaned when he moved from his lips to the side of his neck, kissing along his jawline and neck. He felt a woozy, sated feeling as Chan kissed him. 

"Fuck..." Felix groaned, "Feels good..." 

Chan ended up lying on top of Felix, face buried in his neck with his arms encasing the younger underneath him. It was bound to end up being a little hot, but he stuck with it to be close with his boyfriend. He fell asleep to the feeling of Felix moving his hand up and down the small of his back, moving molasses slow. 

-

Felix woke up the next day to a weight on his chest. His eyes fluttered open to find Chan asleep on top of him. Felix cooed, looking at Chan's face, squished against his chest. His lips were slightly pushed out, giving him a cuteness not many people saw. Felix felt pride swell in his chest, knowing he was one of few to get to see Chan sleeping so content and peacefully. 

"Channie," Felix said, "Wake up." 

"Hmm..." 

"Chris.." 

"Mmmmm....." 

"GOOD MORNING HOMOSEXUALS!" 

A loud and jarring screech was heard as the bedroom door was swung open to reveal Jisung, who was way too hyper and awake for 8 am. He had barged in, completely unwanted and uninvited, and hurt Felix's ears in the process. 

"Oh for fucks sake.." Chan muttered, rolling off of Felix's chest to lie next to him, face buried in the sheets. 

Jisung made his way to their bed, "Wake up you two, and I hope you're decent--" A pillow smacked Jisung in the face and the younger screamed. He fell to the floor dramatically as Changbin stood looking down at him (one of the rare occasions he could) satisfied with his work. 

"Ow." 

"You deserved it," Changbin said, going back under the sheets, "Go bother someone else." 

"In all seriousness though," Jisung said, sitting up, "We've got an unexpected free day." 

Felix's head shot up, "What?" 

Jisung grinned, "Yeah. The radio show got canceled because of our delayed comeback and the pictoral shoot as well. We don't have any lessons, so manager-hyung told us to just take a day off." 

Felix's face lit up, because for the first time in days, he wouldn't be home or bored with endless free time. He had a day, a whole day, to spend with his members and maybe, just maybe, he'll get some alone time with Chan. 

"Lix," Chan said, "You look so nervous." He smiled, "Don't worry, I've already got a little something planned." 

"Wait really?" Felix said, "Like, actually?" 

"Of course! Though I hadn’t planned for this exact day, but why no, we’ve got nothing else to do." Chan said, sitting up. He still ran his fingers through Felix's bedhead looking down at him in admiration, "You planned such a nice date last time, I think it's time I 'wow' you a bit." 

Felix smiled, "You really loved the cafe," 

"I miss the one that looked like Berry," Chan said, pouting, "Well, actually I think I just miss Berry. Actually I just miss Australia." 

Felix cooed, empathizing with him, because it had already been two years since they were back in Sydney. They had a tour plan for the end of the year, since the tour the year before had been cut short due to the circumstances. Felix missed Australia just as much as Chan, but then again he hadn't been gone as long. When he visited with the group, he had only been away for three years. For Chan, he had been away for much longer. 

Chan had endless memories and stories about his childhood in Sydney, and he would often share them with Felix before they fell asleep together. Felix's heart would always hurt when Chan talked about living there again, because Chan would talk as if they would still be living together once they could go back to Australia. He hoped it wasn't wishful thinking, and that Chan was serious. Because even though it scared Felix all the way down to his core, Felix couldn't imagine not waking up next to Chan every morning. 

-

Minho scrolled through his phone as he rode the bus. He was on his way to the gym, having left before anyone was awake. He was surprised to see the text from their manager-hyung saying that they had an unexpected rest day. He hated to admit it, but he felt all his muscles relax after hearing the news. He could take a day off. 

As he scrolled through Instagram, he noticed the official Stray Kids account tagged in a variety of posts. He clicked on one of them, which was a news post, promoting a new story. 

_Stray Kids' Felix: The Signs We Missed_

The article was written by a foreign news outlet, but thanks to a handy link to a translation, he read through the article. It was absolutely a sensationalized piece, catering to an audience wanting to see one thing and one thing only. And a quick skim through the article made him realize it was very poorly written and probably the least reputable source he could find based on this topic. He knew he was wasting time he'd never get back by reading it, but decided it was too far to head back.

_On July 17th, a photograph was taken by Dispatch around 10 pm in Dongdaemun, Seoul. The picture was of two males caught in a very intimate position, kissing on the street when no one was thought to be around. The photo broke into the internet less than two months ago, and people speculated for days on end of who the person was. Until, a video taken from an unknown source, posted on July 20th gave a clear view on one of the people. Lee Felix, a member of the 4th generation K-Pop boyband "Stray Kids," was recognized to be one of the persons and later confirmed his presence that night._

_In a rather heartfelt and sincere letter to "STAY" (the fandom name for Stray Kids) Felix detailed the events of that night out. He explained that he was going out on a date with a mutual friend who had shown interest in him, and asked for Stay not to bring his date of that night into the situation as his date expressed that he didn't want to be known._

_Felix also addressed how him going on a date with a guy would be shocking to the fans. He cleared the air of confusion and decided to come out with the help of friends and family:_

Minho smiled re-reading Felix's letter, feeling proud and endlessly happy for his little brother. He was going to read through the rest of the article, when the bus announced that it was approaching his stop. He kept the tab open, choosing to read it after a workout. He stepped in the building to immediately run into Changbin.

"Oh, hi." Minho said, but the older brushed past him. He sighed, rolling his eyes, "Okay now--" 

"Will you just talk to Jisung?" He said, stopping in his place, "It can't be that hard, come on." 

Minho gritted his teeth, "Don't get involved, you aren't helping with anything-" 

"It's hard not to be involved when we live together. So please, sort out your relationship issues." Changbin snapped back. 

"Fine," Minho, "But you telling me to sort it out isn't any motivation to me." 

Changbin sighed, "Who needs to tell you then?" 

"No one," Minho said, "I can figure this out myself." 

"Sure," Changbin rolled his eyes, "I trust you." He lowered his voice, "Hyung, we've known each other for awhile now, long enough for me-" He said, emphasising the last word, "To know when you're lying." 

Minho scoffed, "I'm not lying." 

"You shake your head a lot when you're lying and you've shook you head at least ten times already. Also haven't looked me in the eye in the past few-" 

"Alright, alright!" The younger said, flustered, "No need to analyze me, Christ..." 

"Just," Changbin started, his tone softening into something more worried than anything, and his voice lowering to just above a whisper. 

"Listen I know Jisung likes you. Likes you a whole lot, much more than any of us. I just...don't think he'd throw in the towel and call it quits so soon." 

Minho took a step back, "It's been awhile, eight months already. Nothing really lasts...that much longer." He felt a pang in his chest thinking of the possibility of going through another breakup, the feeling settling back in and making themselves at home in his body.

"Don't think that way, seriously-" Changbin paused, narrowing his eyes, "Hyung are you crying-" 

"Forget about it-"

Abruptly, Changbin changed demeanors, 

"Let's go outside," He said putting an arm on Minho's back. 

-

"Channie where are you going..." Felix whined, when the older sat up in bed and climbed out of their bunk. 

"I gotta use the bathroom, love," Chan said. 

Felix hummed furrowing his eyebrows. 

"Whipped," 

"Shut up." Felix said, throwing the blanket off himself and deciding he had lazed around enough. A giddy feeling arose in his chest, this was the first date in a long time him and Chan had gone on, considering the fact that Chan was still practicing, writing music, and such with the rest of the members while Felix stayed at home doing, well, nothing. 

He heard paper or plastic, something of the sort, crinkling loudly as hushed voices discussed something in the kitchen. He recognized Jeongin's low voiced teasing but couldn't tell who the other voice was. Intrigued, he went to see what the commotion was, and was confused when he saw Chan with his arms hidden behind his back with Jeongin trying to hold in laughter. 

"Chan?" Felix asked. Chan noticed he had put on his sweatpants, a simple T-shirt, and a sweatshirt. His hair was growing out on the ends, growing out of light brown from his last dye job. His hair was messy and slept on, and was craning his neck to see what Chan was hiding. 

"Hey," Chan responded, clearing his throat. 

The two stood there in silence, neither knowing what to say or do. Felix giggled when Chan awkwardly stepped away when the younger got too cose Chan had his arms behind his back, and Felix wondered what he was hiding. He just leaned from one foot to another, a habit of his when he got nervous. 

"I got-" Chan pulled himself away from the older, "I got flowers." 

Felix smiled gently, taking them with shaky hands. He thanked Chan, and noticed they were different shades of red roses. White and pink roses were sprinkled within the bouquet and green leaves outlined the flowers, regally and majestic. He had definitely spent a lot of time picking them out, maybe a little too much time. 

"I know you like roses, and pink, and-" Chan paused, looking up into Felix's eyes, "Let's just say, they have many meanings." 

Felix smiled, genuinely, "I love them. Seriously. I'm definitely putting them in a vase." 

They found a vase, a little white one that was simple and looked almost like a plant pot. 

Chan smiled, "Come here," He said, holding his arms out. Felix immediately sank into his arms, holding him tightly. The two stayed like that for awhile, though it hadn't been too long since they saw each other. Felix noticed Chan was still wearing the same cologne he always liked, and he felt something poking his back as Chan hugged him.

"What," Felix knew this was the antics of their youngest, the finger poking his back

"You realize that's a plant pot, not a vase, right?" Jeongin sneered. 

\- 

If there was one fault to Chan, it was that he was extremely convincing. So maybe it wasn't Felix's immediate idea of hop in a car Chan borrowed from a friend (probably an idol) and travel almost an hour from the dorm to a surprise Chan assured him would be rewarding. But there he was, sitting shotgun in Chan's car, listening to the soft murmur of the radio as the towns got smaller and the sea got closer. 

Chan always loved the beach. His dad's job as a swim coach made sure he was proficient in swimming, and living in Sydney meant that the beach was close (and the weather was almost always perfect for a beach day.) It seemed weird to go to the beach while it was still cold, but he was out of ideas. He went to Jisung for ideas, simultaneously the worst and best idea. For most of Chan's questions, the younger responded with a shrug, and didn't listen much. Until finally, after some food bribery, Jisung finally sat down with him and told him actual ideas that actually helped him (Jisung even helped him pick out flowers.) 

"So tell me," Felix began, "You bring me flowers, act all secretive and shy, then kidnap me and force me into going somewhere special...." He turned to Chan, who had one hand on the steering wheel and one leaning on the window next to him, "What are you REALLY trying?" 

Chan smiled, "You'll see, Lixie."

Felix's heart jumped at the nickname. It had been so long since someone (Chan) had called him  
"Lixie." Chan always used it, in love with the fact that it sounded like "Pixie." He turned away from Chan, hiding his red cheeks and burning ears. He suddenly felt a little overwhelmed, feeling a strong sense of deja vu. 

"You're blushing," Chan teased, not looking at Felix as he said it, "Like, your ears are really red."

"Shut up,"

-

The beach had gotten an upgrade, Felix thought, surveying the calm rolling waves from a distance. The two had found a somewhat secluded area of the beach, too far from the water to get anything wet, situated on a plot of grass. An oak tree above them provided some sense of privacy, and the neighborhood around them was quiet. Very quiet. The only sounds were the waves, an occasional car that would pass by humming, and the seagulls that visited the sand. 

Felix felt a cold breeze give him a chill, running down his spine. He curled into his denim jacket a little more, hugging his knees to his chest. Chan had watched him shiver, and immediately slung an arm around, pulling him to his side. He unfolded his legs, and leaned his body on Chan. He was weirdly warm, like a faulty heater in summer.

"Cold?" He asked, slipping into English. 

"Yes." Felix said. Chan laughed and placed a kiss on his forehead. This startled Felix slightly, he was rudely brought back into a state of red ears and cheeks. He tried to hide his face, but Chan had for sure seen his blush, by the sly look on his face. 

The two stayed like that for some time. Felix leaning himself on Chan, feeling warm and cozy in his arms as the crystal blue water tossed and turned in front of him. He had made himself comfortable, and didn't have plans on leaving. 

Chan felt similarly, not wanting to let go of the boy in his arms. His once light brown hair was growing out, and his black roots shone through. He was curled into Chan's side, and he felt the boniness of Felix's shoulder digging into his body. He watched the sun fall down out of eyesight another day. 

Chan looked at Felix, feeling his chest tighten. Something in Felix made him turn and face Chan at the exact same time, so the two marveled at each other's beauty and shared a common feeling. It was the feeling felt at a family gathering, when a gift is opened, when a baby does something a little reckless but incredibly endearing, many other times. 

"Felix I—“ Chan began, not knowing how to begin. "This month was interesting." 

Felix kissed him, holding him like he was a fine piece of china. He felt Chan hesitate before reaching an arm around him, pulling him into his lap. Chan’s lips felt warm and pillowy, and Felix felt his heart palpitating at an unnerving pace. He was fully vulnerable in Chan’s arms, letting him be in control after he initiated the first move. Chan was always horrible at initiating anything romantic, but great at taking control. He liked to be in control, but didn’t want to hurt others. 

Felix felt Chan slip an arm over his shoulders, holding him close and near. When the two pulled away from each other, Felix rested his head on Chan’s, turning around so that his back was facing the younger’s chest. He felt Chan grab his hand, and he squeezed his hand. 

“I missed you,” Chan said, placing a kiss on the top of Felix’s head, “Well, all of us have.” 

“I know, I know,” Felix said, tiredly. He saw all the comments, usually positive and supportive but he saw what all other the stays said. He felt horrible, absolutely horrible, reading some of their responses. 

Felix felt Chan give his hand another squeeze, “You did what you had to do, and it made things better, right?.” 

Felix felt his eyes water, but he willed himself not to cry. He was gonna enjoy this time with Chan, not spend it crying and feeling overwhelmed. 

Felix sighed, “Did JYP talk to you?” 

Chan nodded, “Yeah.” He felt Felix grip his hand tightly, “No, don’t worry, it’s good news.” 

“The dating ban he—“ Chan paused, “It’s done.” 

Felix looked up at Chan, confused and a little excited, “What do you mean?”

“It ended last May, and we got together in February.” Chan said, smiling as he spoke, “So we never broke any rules.” 

Felix turned completely around, “So you’re still my boyfriend?“

Chan nodded, “I was planning on being yours no matter what. But, as long as no one outside of our family and the group knows. And that we stay out of the prying cameras and reporters.” 

"Any by reporters you mean-"

-Dispatch, yes Dispatch." 

Felix laughed loudly, laughing almost as loud as the yellow sweatshirt Chan wore, "Those bastards better leave me alone." 

Chan laughed, 

“Lixie, I’ve got to tell you something,” He said, speaking softly into his ear, "I kinda wanna be face to face."

Felix groaned, “Tell me now, I don’t wanna move.” 

“Why?”

“You know damn well why,” Felix said, burying his head in Chan’s sweater. 

Chan smirked, “While you were gone during practice, the rest of the boys found out there wasn’t any dating ban and—“ 

“No..” Felix muttered, looking at Chan straight in the eyes, knowing exactly what he was going to say. 

“Seungmin finally got his shit together.” Felix said, genuinely smiling proudly. 

“Yes.” Chan said, “Although I really haven’t seen any difference in either Minnie or Jinnie after he made a move.” 

Felix sighed, “They’ll get it together, they’ll make it through.” 

“We did,” Chan muttered. He held his boyfriend’s hand and spoke to him as if he was the universe, “JYP can’t do anything about it anyways.” 

Felix nodded, “Let’s just hope Dispatch stays the fuck away from us. No one would suspect the leader of the young, trendy, JYP boy group to be dating his member, who caused the biggest scandal of the year by saying he kisses boys." 

"That's a little gay, not gonna lie." Chan said, kissing Felix cheek. 

Felix giggled, wiping his cheek, "How was practice with everyone else?"

"They're fine, we're all just preparing for the tour." He said, looking off into the distance, "Jisung's desperately trying to teach Hyunjin english, but it's hilarious since he gets confused so easily. Seungmin often tries to help, but all he does is confuse the two." 

"Why don't you help?" Felix asked.

Chan looked at him blankly, "Remember when I tried to teach Changbin English?" 

Felix nodded slowly, "Yeah, leave that to Seungmin."

-

Jeongin was sitting on his bed, playing games on his phone when he heard loud footsteps and his bedroom door open. He looked up and saw Hyunjin walking towards him, immediately lying down next to him. He groaned and tried to the push the older off, but failed as he was a little too tall and a little too strong. 

"Whaaaaatt...." Jeongin said, exaggerating his annoyance. He truly liked having his members around, but hated them doting over him. 

"All the others are gaming." Hyunjin said, turning to face Jeongin, "I needed someone to bother."

Hyunjin didn't do a lot after that, he just watched Jeongin play games over his shoulder, commenting occasionally. When Jeongin won the 4th round in a row, he decided to stop playing and put his phone down. 

Hyunjin was still halfway curled around him, but he was staring at the wall, deep in thought. 

"What you thinking about?" The youngest asked, turning to face him. 

He rolled on his back, "A lot." There was a pause, "It's like every single brain cell in my head has a different topic to think about right now."

Jeongin nodded, "I feel that." He looked at the empty bed next to him, Minho's bed. 

Minho had been awfully quiet after the fight. The day Jisung snapped out and the two stopped speaking to each other, it was eerily silent in the dorms. Since then, no one had any idea about what was going through his head. One night, Jeongin woke up around 2 to hear Minho quietly sobbing in his bed. When he got up to see what was wrong, the older ended up crying into Jeongin's pajamas until he fell asleep on his lap. The next morning, he was already out of the house. 

It hurt everyone to see Minho is so much pain, but there was so much to distract from him it often made Jeongin feel like he was the only one worried. He would quietly observe Minho, quietly take care of him. Bringing him a blanket when he fell asleep on the couch, handing him water after practice, holding his hand under the table when he looked down, but he never asked. If there was one thing Jeongin understood about Minho's pain was that he just needed time. Time to sort things out.

Hyunjin rolled to his side, propping himself on an elbow, facing Jeongin.

"You thinking about Minho?"

The question was surprising, and Jeongin turned his head quickly. He scanned Hyunjin's face, but it was unreadable. He couldn't tell if he was worried, anxious, angry, it was too confusing. 

"Yeah," He muttered after some time. It felt weird to admit it out loud. 

"Tell me why," Hyunjin continued. 

Jeongin shook his head, "You don't have to worry."

"I wanna know," He insisted, "We're all worried about him."

His words were shocking and Jeongin almost proclaimed them false. Somehow, his mind had made it seem like no one else was caring about Minho. Hyunjin saw Jeongin's puzzled face and continued on. 

"Jisung's anxiety has heightened, he's just doing a really good job of hiding it." He said, wanting to add "As always" at the end. "As much as he projects anger at him, he feels lost when Minho acts this way, he has a hard time of understanding what's going on in his head." 

"Changbin, Felix, and Seungmin have been trying to reach out to him every day and night, but he keeps insisting he's fine, and Chan-" Hyunjin took a deep breath, "He's barely talking to Chan anymore." 

Jeongin's mouth formed a silent "Oh." He didn't realize his hyungs were paying that much attention to Minho. He felt more worried than ever before, feeling his heart rate rise and his skin prickle from a sudden chill. 

"Hyung," He said, very softly, "Will Minho be okay?" It was a loaded question, he admitted, but he really fucking needed an answer.

Hyunjin wanted to say what was expected. "Of course, he's getting better!" or "He will, there's no doubt." But there was still that uncertainty biting into his mind, clouding his thoughts with exaggerated situations, and jumping to dark conclusions too fast. He bit his cheek, eyes focused on Jeongin's fox-like ones. 

"Yes." He said, mustering up the confidence he had left, "We're gonna help him get better, and we're gonna be there for him." 

“But—“ Jeongin started,

“Jeongin, remember. This is between Jisung and Minho.” Hyunjin said, voice firm but affable, "We can all be worried and try and make Minho feel better, but this is still their issue to fix." Hyunjin paused, realizing Jeongin was giving him his full attention, like he had all the answers (he didn't of course.) 

He sighed, "But to be honest, Minho-hyung's unpredictable. Sometimes he's reserved and caring. Sometime's he's spontaneous and unthinking. That's how he's unpredictable." He paused, his words didn't make too much sense, "He's in control of the choices he makes, but he can change his mind very quickly. Or act very differently for no reason." 

Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows, "How do you know so much about Minho-hyung?" 

Hyunjin sighed. What a loaded question. 

"When I was younger, I didn't get social cues or people very well. I wasn't very social and kept to myself often, because I was deathly afraid of saying the wrong words or making the wrong impression. I'm like an extremely self-conscious extrovert." He paused, "So for a long time I payed close attention to how people who were very liked and tried to understand what they do. I tried to understand what made them so likable and respected. That's why I can see through people so easily, read people like a book. "

Jeongin rolled so his back was facing Hyunjin, "You're so smart Jin-hyung. You know so much."

Hyunjin denied the youngest and insisted he didn't know that much. He hid a smile. Jeongin looked up too much at Hyunjin, he should follow Chan's words closer. He was almost an adult, yes, but he had stayed mostly naive throughout his teen years, a trait that was unique to many his age. This gave the older members an unspoken responsibility to take care of their youngest as he grew up. They taught him things, but never treated him like he wasn't smart enough, because they all knew he was a little too smart at times. 

"Hyunjin," Jeongin said, "Do you still have jellies in your room."

"Yes why?"

At the speed of light, Jeongin bursted out of the bed and ran towards Hyunjin's. 

"YAH!" Hyunjin yelled, "GET BACK HERE YOU RAT!"

When Hyunjin found his way to Jeongin’s room, the younger was already holding a bag of peach jellies and unwrapping one. He giggled at Hyunjin’s fuming, and shrieked when the older tackled him onto the bed he was behind. 

“Okay! Okay! Okay!!! I’m done!” Jeongin said, out of breath, “Those jellies slap though.” 

“Sky fox,” Hyunjin muttered, “But you’re cute, so I’ll let you have one.” 

“Hey Jeonginnie, hi Hyunjin!” 

Hyunjin looked up to see Seungmin putting his bag down and taking off his sweater. He must have come from the coffee shop, a latte placed on the floor next to his bag. 

Seungmin wore a blue sweater, that he neatly hung up in his closet. His shirt was a simple white tee with a winking puppy on the back, which was so, indescribably Seungmin. He wore plain tan slacks and white Converse, and his black hair was slicked back off his forehead. It was at that moment when Hyunjin realized he looked sexy with his hair pushed back. 

-

Jisung sighed, his eyes closing as he opened the front door. He willed himself to drag his feet a little further to actually get in the dorm, before shutting the door, locking it and checking twice because stalkers, and sighing as he leaned down to unlace his shoes. He blinked his eyes, which weren't prepared to meet a bright light. Jisung's eyes adjusted, and he turned his phone on. 

3:01 am. 

He didn't hear any the soft game soundtrack and sound effects emitting from Chan, Felix's and Changbin's room, Jeongin was his roommate and never went to bed after midnight, so that just left Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Minho. However, Seungmin slept earlier as well and Hyunjin had knocked out right as Jisung left to go to the studio. 

His prediction was correct, after passing into the living room to see Minho sitting at the table. He had on his thin-framed glasses, a brown sweatshirt and black shorts, and his fluffy hair stuck up in some places. His droopy eyes and furrowed brows signaled that he had been up for awhile, and he didn't look at Jisung when he came in. His skin looked dull, while the circles under his eyes were more pronounced, and if that was the light or not wasn't clear to Jisung. He finally acknowledged Jisung when he sat down in front of him at the table, 

"You're back." Minho said, somewhat hopeful. 

Jisung smiled, "It's pretty late, you should get some sleep." 

"Okay," 

"Also there's extra blankets clean now, Seungmin washed some and put on your bed." 

"Okay," 

"I'll be there in a minute,"

"Okay," Minho's responses were weirdly positive considering the time of night and the situation they were in, "-Is what I'd say if this was a one time thing." 

Jisung, surprised by the strange segway, looked back at him, "What do you mean?" 

"Jisung, when was the last time you came home at a normal time?

"What do you-"

"When was the last time you got more than four hours of sleep?" 

"I can explain-" He sighed, scratching his neck, "I don't understand what you're trying to get at, I'm 20, I can take care of myself.." 

"You know you're not very quiet when you come home." Minho said, in a calm and collected tone, nothing like the words he was telling Jisung. 

Jisung paused, "What the hell are you trying to say, literally what?" 

Minho narrowed his eyes, "I don't need to spell it out, stop playing dumb and answer the question." His voice was steadily getting louder and less controlled. 

"I haven't been coming home late." Jisung said, eyes focused on the older. 

"Jisung-ah," He started, looking up at the oldest, "Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying." 

"Then maybe I should ask Chan what time you came home last night." Minho bit back. 

Jisung paused. He noticed the kettle was whistling. He walked to the stove and turned the heat off, pouring the water into Minho's red mug. The tea bag was patiently waiting next to the stove, waiting for a hot water bath. 

"Let's just move on, please? Look I get it I haven't been honest with you, but I don't appreciate you quizzing me and shit like that. I can take care of myself, I'm a competent human being." 

A loud bang was heard next Jisung. Startled, he looked up. Minho had banged his fist on the counter, anger seeping into his movements. Tears gathered in the edges of his eyes and he looked up at Jisung in disbelief.

"I can't believe you," Minho said, voice cracking and breaking up, "I'm worried about you, can't you see?" He had completely cracked under the pressure, "I'm not trying to play games with you, but how else am I supposed to get you to be honest with yourself? You don't even realize you're lying, you get so immersed there's no other way for me to get to you!" 

Jisung was sure someone was up and could hear them, "Why are you talking like you're me? Why are you talking like you know me? Why are you talking like you've known me for so long?" He shook his head, "If you really knew me, you'd realize I'm not just doing this cause I'm childish." 

"I'm your boyfriend." 

"What?" Jisung asked, confused at the statement, "Yes, we know, we've established that." 

"Fuck you." Minho said, "Fuck you for making this my problem. Maybe I don't know you that well, but maybe that's because you're never around enough for us to spend time together. Fuck you for making me wait up all these nights because I thought you would notice." 

"Minho, how the hell was I supposed to read your mind?" Jisung shouted, "You're asking me like I can read your mind, Jesus Christ man.." 

"You ask Chan when he's up late what he's doing. You tell Jeongin to go to bed when you see him up stressing. You help put away Seungmin or Hyunjin's books when they fall asleep at the table." Minho said, crying through his words, "

“I thought you would pay attention to me more, cause I'm your fucking boyfriend. Sorry for thinking you cared. Look at me and you. Eight months in. Am I that fucking boring? Are you sick of me already? I guess we're just not good for each other, fucking hooray I guess.”

Minho took the tea from the counter, "Good night Jisung. I guess I'll never please you after all." 


	2. i think we're alright now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Minho finally get their shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh lord, it's been so long since i updated....
> 
> anyways, i read a post someone made about things to think about when writing MLM characters and it helped me come to the realization that if i was gonna have felix essentially being outed, i needed to properly write it.
> 
> i honestly pondered rewriting this entire story AGAIN but i think it's better if i just added an in-depth fic centered around felix right after the Dispatch incident. 
> 
> (BUT i have a ton of other ideas i wanna write and my "drabbles" page is getting quite full -_- so i honestly might table this series while i just get out the other one-shots i wanna write....)
> 
> so anyways, this series will continue for quite awhile! hope you enjoy !!

Minho cried, longer than he ever wanted to, in front of one of his members for god's sake. Changbin had sat him down at a bus stop as he cried his eyes out, continuing to sniffle and hiccup as Changbin handed him another tissue pack. 

It was all foreign for him, he hadn't cried this hard since his elimination when Chan held him close. Minho never tried to suppress his emotions, yet he wasn't a crier. He didn't cry when he got angry, like Jisung, and he never cried at sentimental moments, like Felix and sometimes Seungmin. Breathing through the hiccups felt near impossible, and he pondered how it felt good for people to cry away stress. He felt like rocks had settled at the bottom of his lungs, weighing him down and making it harder to breath. His eyes blinked too frequently, trying to quiet the tears. 

"Hyung," Changbin said, "Listen, I'm not Chan or Jeongin but-" He looked around nervously, "Do you want a hug?" 

Minho paused, holding his breath. He nodded and let Changbin hold him. To be quite honest, he was sweaty and in any other situation Minho would feel grossed out. Except now because Changbin's hugs were calming and grounding. He was taller than Changbin, and he draped himself over Changbin's chest, the way he saw Hyunjin hug his shorter members many times. 

"Ah, hyung," Changbin muttered, laughing slightly at Minho essentially falling on him. 

They stayed together for quite some time, and Minho's incessant crying began to slow down and his breathing evened out a bit. His cries became somewhat infrequent sniffles, and his eyes dried up. 

"You okay?" Changbin asked, when Minho stood back up. He wiped a stray tear from his face. 

"No," Minho said, smiling a bit, "But I feel a little better."

"I didn't really mean to upset you, I just.." he paused, "I don't like seeing Jisung sad all the time. I don't like seeing you sad and distraught either." 

"I know," Minho said, "I've been ignoring him too much, haven't I?" 

Changbin sighed, "Well yes, but you needed your space. I guess I didn't take into account your worries and what you had to deal with before Jisung." 

Minho's face fell a bit, when Changbin mentioned his past relationships. Few people knew about Minho's exes and his relationships. In the band, it was only Changbin and Chan that knew the whole story, while Jisung only knew part of it. 

Minho let out a big sigh, wiping the rest of the tears off his face, "I should come clean. I should tell Jisung." 

Changbin nodded, "Only if you're ready." 

-

"Lix, you're back!" 

Felix kicked off his shoes, "Hey, what's everyone doing?" 

"Playing among us." Hyunjin said, making Felix guess it was his idea to play together, "It's me, , Minnie, Jisungie, and Innie playing, plus I got Chenle and Park Jisung to play with us. Although I've met my untimely death "

"You should join us next time," Seungmin said. Felix saw his glasses reflect red light from his screen, confirming him as the imposter. Jeongin's face fell and he glanced over at Seungmin. 

Felix immediately ran to Seungmin on the couch, resting his chin on the younger's shoulder and watching as he ran the opposite direction of the body. The body was in the greenhouse, so it was gonna be awhile before anyone found it. 

"Hold the - Jisung did you just..." Seungmin said, running towards greenhouse, "Dude." 

"Huh?" 

"Wait where?" A voice asked, and Felix recognized it as Chenle's. 

"Greenhouse, it's literally Jisung, he just came from greenhouse-" 

"No??? I was in security doing lights??" 

Park Jisung laughed, "I was just fixing lights, I saw no other Jisungs." 

"I SWEAR GUYS-" 

And with that, the voting ended.

"And we win!" Seungmin said. 

Silence lasted for a few seconds before-

"SEUNGMIN?? CHENLE???" Park Jisung screeched, "I was literally with Chenle half the game!" 

"Haha.." Seungmin chuckled, smiling to himself, "Y'all are so stupid." 

They played a second round, this time with Felix. Felix got crewmate his first game, and was immediately chased all around locker room by Han Jisung. And when he confronted Jisung about it, everyone voted him out for breathing. Needless to say, when they died on oxygen, it got very loud in the dorms. 

"Easy win..." The older Jisung said, "The Jisungs win again.." 

Chenle and Park Jisung soon left to go have dinner, leaving the 00s (and Jeongin) bored on the couch. Seungmin was watching one of Wonpil's cover's, while Hyunjin and Jeongin were speaking nonsense to each other and giggling every other sentence. Felix had melted into Seungmin's shoulder by that point, and Jisung was staring off into space, resting his chin in his hand. 

"Wahhh," Seungmin said, seemingly in awe at his sunbae's voice, "He's so talented..." 

Felix smiled, "I think you're just in love with him." 

Seungmin's jaw dropped, "I mean....He's got the looks, he sings beautifully, can play piano, is sweet and nice like-" He paused, "I think I want him to be my himbo-" He didn't finish his sentence. Maybe it was god telling him to stop, 

"Nevermind, I'll stop now."

The entire room side-eyed Seungmin, while the person of interest just shrugged. 

"Guys you know I'm joking right-"

"Agh," Hyunjin melted off the couch and onto his knees, his arms still suspended up, "I'm bored." 

Jeongin copied him, melting into a puddle next to him, "Me too." 

"You guys are weird," Seungmin said.

"We're all a little weird," Jisung remarked, "Some more than others..."

"By the way, has Minho answered any of your texts?" Hyunjin asked, sitting up and regaining his posture, "He hasn't answered any of mine and he's supposed to teach a dance for a cover." 

Jeongin shrugged, "I don't really text him, how bout you three?"

Seungmin and Felix shook their heads, while Jisung just scowled. 

"None of mine, of course," Jisung said, staring at the wall. 

Felix sighed, turning to him, "You two still haven't talked?"

"He's ignoring me, I'm ignoring him, but it's not like I can be mad at him," Jisung sighed, "I'm such an asshole sometimes." 

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, "Don't say that, you know it's not true." 

"I couldn't even recognize his needs or how stressed he's been, instead I just yelled at him and made it all worse," Jisung was really trying not to cry at this point, "I don't understand why he stays, he should have much better." 

Jisung's phone rang with a text from Chan. 

chrispy: come to my room

-

"You've gotta text him, bro." 

Jisung looked at him in surprise, but nodded nonetheless. Chan was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. 

He pulled his phone out his pocket, fiddling with it in his hand, 

"Much easier said than done," 

The oldest sighed, taking a seat on his bed. 

"Look you two...You two have always been together. Attached at the hip, or whatever the saying is. And I know you love each other very much. I know you care about each other too much to call it quits at right now. I know what the first fight is like, me and Lix were just as stubborn and self-deprecating as you two."

It was news to Jisung, he couldn't imagine a time when the two would quarrel. He imagined them to be the textbook definition of perfect couple, 

"It took us awhile to come around. I remember when we both finally broke because we missed each other too much. Felix came into our room and burst into tears when he saw me. But it would've been much easier if one of us just asked 'Can we talk?'"

Jisung nodded slowly, but didn't further touch his phone. 

"I'm not forcing you to do anything but-" He paused, "Consider it." 

Jisung stared down at his blank, black screen. 

"I'll call him." He said. Chan raised an eyebrow, "I promise, I'll call him tonight-"

"Try now," Chan said, cutting off Jisung, "Call him. You just gotta go for it." 

Thankfully, Minho had answered Jisung's call and responded to him with a simple yes. 

"He said to meet him at eight," Jisung reiterated to Chan, hands nervously (perhaps excitedly) shaking. 

His phone then ringed with a notification, a couple texts from Minho. His messages were simple, he gave an address for a cafe the members went often. Jisung read over the texts multiple times, keeping a straight face as he felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He felt relieved, more relieved than he had been in the last few days.

Chan began to clap his hands, right in front of his face with a dopey smile on his face, "Yay!" He said, before running out into the living room. 

He walked into the living room to see just the tail end of Hyunjin and Seungmin's staring contest right when Jeongin cheered in Seungmin's defeat. Hyunjin high-fived Jeongin and had completely ignored Chan's presence. 

"Chan?" Seungmin said, trying to draw the attention from his loss, "I thought you were practicing." 

"Nah, I've been here." He replied, leaning against the door frame. 

Felix entered soon after. He was wearing Pajamas, his hair was damp, and he had removed his makeup which left his freckles front and center. 

“You’re up,” Chan said, putting an arm around the youngers' waist.

“Yeah,” Felix replied. He kissed Chan on the cheek, which surprised him.

“Aw look at you,” Jeongin cooed, “You make me sick.“ He got up from the couch, as Hyunjin and Seungmin had lost interest in the game after the last round, and were talking fondly to each other (it definitely seemed like flirting.) 

Chan whispered to Felix, "Sleep with me tonight." 

Felix turned bright red and looked at him with a fake sleazy look. Chan swatted his arm, and told him to get his mind out of the gutter. 

"We have a roommate, Lix!" He whined, "Besides, we sleep together all the time!" 

"Let's kick him out," Felix said, "It's not like he's here to say no."

-

The clock struck 8 and Minho glanced up from his phone, looking at the door. No one entered. He nervously tapped the table as he pulled his hat down over his face. The anticipation and suspense that manifested itself in Minho was too much for him to contain, so it put his stress into tapping the table. He hoped his boyfriend would come soon. Enough time had passed since he got there for his coffee to become a glass half empty. The bell above the door rang and Minho looked up. Finally, it was who he wanted it to be. 

Jisung was wearing all black, an atypical look. His outfit consisted of a bomber jacket with a turtleneck underneath it, joggers, and black sneakers. Minho couldn't decide if he looked like the manager of a group or the leader of a biker gang. He had styled his hair so that it fell above his eyebrows. He smiled at Minho and walked over. 

"Hey," He said, taking a seat in the chair in front of him, "How are you?" 

"I'm good. Just tired, our comeback's really soon." Minho replied. Next to Minho's, another full glass of coffee sat on the table, untouched.

"Here, I got you an iced coffee. It's on me." 

"Oh, thanks." Jisung took a sip of it.

"What about you? How was your day so far?" Minho asked, trying to buy himself a little more time.

"Okay, I guess." He replied. It was a bland answer, but Jisung was too nervous to try and come up with anything more. 

Minho smiled softly, "You seem happier." 

Jisung laughed, shifting in his seat, "Do I? I guess that's good." He paused, "I mean, I would definitely say I'm happy right now." 

"You are?" 

He paused again, "Happiest I've felt in awhile."

Minho smiled, feeling relieved. The two talked on, and on for the next 30 minutes or so, about not much at all. It stopped being a filibuster so they could avoid the main topic, but genuine conversation they had missed having for the past few days. As the two talked, Jisung felt all anxiousness he felt leave his body and his mind stopped being so busy and clouded. 

"Sung," Minho started, after a minute of silence, "I want to apologize." Jisung looked up at Minho, but his expression was unreadable. He muttered a simple, "Ok." 

"I didn't act very mature-" He stopped, "When I yelled at you in the kitchen, it was uncalled for. I'm sorry about what I said, I don't think that I should have attacked you like that. I understand now, why you lashed out." He leaned in closer to Jisung, placing is arms on the table, "I couldn't have gotten you to know why I was staying up, waiting for you, doing that stuff unless I actually told you. I never told you it was because I was worried, I wasn't open enough." 

"Minho," The older said, crossing his arms, "I forgave you a long time ago." He paused, "I need to apologize too. In neglecting taking care of myself, I kind of forgot about you. And you've been so open about your trust issues, and I don't blame you for any of it. I don't hate you for feeling so worried about me leaving, though I know I would never even think of it." 

Jisung took Minho's hand, the one that rested on the table. Minho's hands were soft and dainty, while Jisung's were a little worn out, with callouses on his fingertips from guitar and scratches from his clumsiness. 

"I realize now it wasn't that you didn't trust me or thought I couldn't take care of myself. You were worried-"

"And thinking irrationally-" 

"Worried, about me leaving. But kitten," He looked at him straight in the eye, "I'd never think of leaving you any time soon." He breathed heavily, "I love you so much. I really do. These past few days have been really hard, and I want to make it up to you." 

"And I-" Minho started, "I know you can take of yourself, and I'm definitely gonna try to be honest with how I'm feeling. 

Jisung smiled and nodded, "Okay." 

"We all good now?" He asked, looking at Minho, who was staring at his feet.

"I mean, if you say so." Minho said. 

Jisung got up abruptly from his seat and told Minho to stand up. He did, tentatively, and the younger hugged him tightly. Minho stiffened at first, which was very uncharacteristic (Minho was very much into Jisung's hugs and affection.)

"Oh my god," Minho muttered, "I missed this." 

Jisung detached his arms, "Really?" he said as he smiled widely. 

"Let's spend some time together. Let's go on a date," Minho stated, "Maybe we can go to that new cat cafe!" 

Jisung nodded, "Look forward to being pampered, Kitten." 

-

And when Felix joined the members again, they were all ecstatic. It was a few weeks before their comeback, and he decided to meet Stays after his hiatus. He let their manager know he was gonna do a live, settling in an empty practice room just to talk. 

"Hello everyone, it's been awhile." he smiled wide, watching the viewers flood in "Did you miss me?" 

It seemed like they did, many stays surprised at the abrupt live so soon after he announced he would be rejoining the members in their group activities. 

A few weeks after the live, their comeback came and they ended up bringing home three more trophies, a lot more Youtube views, and another article written about them and their unique taste. 

"So Felix, you've had quite the year. Or past few months, you get what I'm saying" The iHeart Radio interviewer announced, "How was that for you? Navigating all those changes and events. 

Felix felt as Chan put a hand on his thigh, the gesture hidden under the table they sat at,

"Well, it was strange." He started, laughing it off alongside his members, "I didn't expect to be put in that situation, and I mean it all made me very, you know, angry and bitter and scared because I didn't know how people around me were gonna react. Friends, family, co-workers, our PD-nim, it was very frightening." He paused, "But I'm grateful those around me, who didn't already know, were accepting and loving." 

"How many people knew? I'm assuming very few." the interviewer added. 

Felix nodded, "Yes, it was only the members that knew."

"Wow," she widened her eyes, nodding her head, "No family?" 

Felix laughed, knowing she probably didn't understand why he wouldn't tell family, "They're the closest people that I see most often, it was hard to keep it a secret for a long time." 

The interviewer laughed, "I'm glad it worked out for you."

"I had known, for awhile," Minho added, in Korean, "I was the first person he came out to." 

Chan translated and the interviewer gasped, 

"Really? Wow, you must have felt special then, right Lee Know?" 

Minho nodded after hearing it translated, "I think I was more proud of Felix for being brave enough to tell me he was bisexual, because I know it had to have been hard to keep it a secret from us. We're really obnoxious sometimes." 

The interview went a bit viral, people had mixed reactions. Some people were happy that Felix shared some of his honest feelings about being outed, while others thought it was unprecedented and inappropriate that the interviewer brought up Felix's sexuality during an interview specifically about their album. 

The comeback promotions ended sooner then they came and the boys were given a few days off. 

"Let's book a house! Just for us, away from everything and everyone." Seungmin suggested, when the members explained that they wanted to spend time together instead of with their own families. 

The house they bought was a little cottage on the beach, secluded and homely. Minho, Chan, Felix, and Hyunjin worked on dinner while the others either fooled around or unpacked their things (sometimes they would nonchalantly waltz where Chan was grilling and see if they could snatch a piece.) Hyunjin had bought red wine on a whim, and promptly made Jeongin try it. The younger scrunched his nose at the taste. He didn't like alcohol that much.

After dinner, Jisung challenged Felix to a Just dance battle, and chaos ensued afterwards. After Felix had beaten Jisung by only a 5 point difference, everyone else tried to challenge him, but none were successful. It all ended with Jeongin and Felix collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles. 

The night progressed on, and ended with them all in the living room, with Minho proposing a toast. 

Pouring wine for everyone, (except Jeongin, he got the coke) he held up his glass, signaling the start of the toast. 

“I guess I’ll begin?” Minho started, clearing his throat. Jisung (who was next to him) grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 

“Well,” He paused and held up his glass, “To restarting.” He turned to Jisung, 

“To love, friendship and romance” 

Seungmin was next, “To successful futures” 

“To this little cottage!” Changbin said. 

“To new feelings,” Hyunjin added, carefully glancing at the second youngest.

“To new love,” Seungmin added, earning snickers and knowing glances from those who suspected.

“To memories, new and old,” Chan said, kissing Felix's cheek. 

“To everything the future has to offer!” Felix said, eyes bright with joy and warmth. Jeongin was the last person to make a toast. 

He held up his glass proudly, “We’ve stayed together through it all. Even the ugly." 

It was clear, what Jeongin was implying and some of the members looked down when he spoke. 

"But it’s like we always say, eight is fate.” He smiled, looking around the circle, 

“So to us.” 

Jisung was first to yell “cheers” clinking his glass with everyone before downing the wine. Minho scolded him (telling him he should sip it) but gave up when Hyunjin looked him in the eyes and followed in Jisung’s bad, wine-chugging steps. 

Chan looked up at Felix, staring up into his eyes. 

“Hi.” Felix said, “I love you.” 

Chan’s eyes fluttered under the warm yellow lighting in the room. He had already set his drink down, so he took the opportunity to grab both sides of Felix's face and kiss him, like he hung the moon in the sky. 

Felix relaxed into the kiss and put an arm around Chan’s waist, closing his eyes and pulling the younger impossibly closer. The two kissed with all the love in the world, drowning out their surroundings. It was as if they had synced their hearts together, and their hearts beat as one. They felt the same feeling. Love, adoration, and intense infatuation. Yet, it wasn’t the fleeting one that young lovers shared. It was something different. It was a long-lasting, life changing drug that they had succumbed too in the most romantic way. When they pulled away from each other, the heartbeat connection still felt strong. 

Chan held Felix hand that night, lying face to face with him in bed. It was only the two of them, Chan and the love of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THAT WAS A RIDE 
> 
> anyways, along with the felix centered fic i plan on writing i also wanna write;
> 
> \- the sequel to this "my arms need someone (someone to enfold)" but that's just re-writing and such  
> \- how felix came out to minho  
> \- an nct dream + skz fic because that was an original plan before i had to rewrite this all
> 
> lastly, i really hope you enjoyed this. i know that this fic had some major changes when it came to the storylines, but i tried to include scenes from the original fic and give the relationships similar vibes and storylines. 
> 
> i hope the end result is still enjoyable and i hope you stick around for the sequel(s) and prequel(s)!
> 
> twt: miguksoup  
> email: miguksoup@gmail.com

**Author's Note:**

> holy fuck why did i do that to minho. bub i’m so sorry
> 
> i really really tried to convey feelings a person would face in felix’s position, yet i’m a cis het woman so it might not be accurate oops :0


End file.
